KARAOKE

So we’ve all heard the rumours. Karaoke is BIG in Asia. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is secluded to dodgy side street joints, open mic nights, or rented booths solely frequent by Hong Kong business men. In Asia, Karaoke is EVERYWHERE.

Up to now my only experience of Karaoke had been unfortunate table positioning on the top floor of a Chinese all you can eat Buffet in Scotland where over fed locals would insist on belting out their best Mariah after a few too many Tiger Beers, holding onto those high notes for as long as their tobacco battered lungs could manage. Or when some bright spark at an office party decides to “get the projector screen down” and from God knows where a microphone appears and the quiet guy from IT is outed as the Tom Jones of Generation Y.

I’d heard talk of Karaoke nights flying around the office, and some friends had even gone along and proclaimed what a great night they had. But let me tell you now, nothing can prepare you for the alcohol fuelled, grossly competitive, testosterone ridden, bonding event  that is Karaoke. Let me put this in perspective. Karaoke is taken so seriously here, that a hotel suit is not considered top of the range by the presence of a grand piano or perhaps a Picasso above the loo. No. What you strive for in life is your own Karaoke booth slotted in between the dining and bedroom sections.  (Because no one can nail Katy Perry ‘Firework’ without significant rehearsal.) 

I would like to take this moment to point out that not all karaoke is necessarily as raucous as ours panned out to be, we went straight in at the deepend and gifted out karaoke virginity to a bunch of enthusiastic (pissed) Australians. Brad and I arrived after a 'date night' at Pollen (a post on this to follow) dressed in our best and pretending to be sophisticated for the (faux)French waiter. In the Taxi en route Brad proclaimed "It will be good to go for a bit and to meet everyone, but I probably won't sing".... fast track 3 hours later Brad has hidden one of the microphones so he can get involved in all the songs with minimal mic wars and has half a bottle of Jack Daniels long armed down his front- which I think happened during an 80's rock solo..or a Whitney Houston number. 

this picture doesn't do the swelling justice

Despite the stained clothes, gravely voices, and my bruise from Tambourining too aggressively I would say the night was a resoundingg success, and definitely something we will be doing again. Screw British reserve and socialising around a table with a game of 5s suggested when you want to liven things up. There is nothing that will unite a room of strangers more than a private room, free flow of alcohol, every cheesy classic and modern hit you can name, 6 microphones and a box of percussion instruments. Granted. Karaoke was NEVER something I considered, nor was really aware of in the UK, but my advice- next time you have a birthday/friends visiting/ just want an excuse to get everyone together and can't be bothered with the same bars and the same faces, get down to a karaoke club immediately, even if you think you're too cool. You're not. 

The logistics 

Not only was the night great fun, but also great value for a boozy session, especially in singapore. We (about 10 of us) rented a room for 3-4 hours, bought approx 6 bottles of spirits, all the mixers came free and the song list was limit less...this came to a total of about $100 dollars each for the entire night (50 quid) unbelievable. We didn't even get fined for breaking everything.

Best Karaoke in Singapore

	PARTY WORLD KTV
		Sound systems: Sound systems are at good quality with Sony devices. Songs: Songs are updated monthly in around 10 languages. Recommended for friends, families and companies. View more info & photos
	TOPONE KTV
		Songs: Latest Songs from around the world, ranging from the latest Mandarin songs, to Canto Pop and latest feverish R&B Hip Hop / K & J POP dance tunes. Hokkien, Thai and Vietnamese songs are also available. Recommended for friends and family gatherings, birthday parties, bachelor and hens nights, corporate functions. View more info & photos
	DYNASTY CLASSIC KTV
		Live performances: Live performances by 16 Chinese Superstar Singers are available in the main hall from Monday to Friday from 9pm to 3am. Soundproof rooms: There are 38 soundproof rooms to relax and enjoy private moments. Recommended for group of friends, family. View more info & photos
	TEA LOVER KTV
		Gathering session: through karaoke gathering session, patrons get the chance to know new friends in Singapore. Ambience: nice and warm, inspire patrons to sing from their hearts. Recommended for friends and family. View more info & photos
	TEO HENG KTV STUDIO
		Price: The price is cheap. It is charged per hour, irregardless of the number of people. Outside food allowed: Patrons can bring their home or outside food in. Sound systems: Best karaoke equipments from BMB. Recommended for family and friends. View more info & photos

courtesy of thebestinsingapore.com

We are off back to the UK this week for a wedding and to visit family and friends, we CANNOT WAIT. I will let you know if I successfully manage to impose a karaoke night on anyone during this time. I'm hoping to god Brad doesn't find a rogue microphone at the wedding...I think i will pre warn the DJ.

Speak Soon.

XXX

The Comedy Club Asia

Comedy in the UK is, in my opinion, essential. Whether self depreciating, dirty or dry- a good dose of humour gets most of us through the day- maybe it's got something to do with the weather/economy/price of cabbage... but in Singapore (and this could just be something lost in translation) comedy you must go in search of.

So when Edinburgh is awash with performers, and everywhere from grand halls to toilet cubicles becomes a 'venue' and you don't have 'Live at the Appolo' at the touch of a button, you must take matters into your own hands. After a little googlnig we found this diamond in the rough.  The 'The Comedy Club Asia' hosts several events a month with 3 touring comedians from around the world, yeah so it's a bit hit or miss but isn't all stand up comedy? We however struck gold and had the pleasure of being entertained by this motley crew...

The venue changes with each line up which is quite a novel way of discovering new little haunts around Singapore. We were very lucky to be in the swish Klapsons Hotel a beautifully modern boutique hotel in the CBD, which popped up a stage in what I presume was a conference room but with a scattering of Sofas, free seating and standing tables successfully created and intimate and relaxed atmosphere- rare in Singapore which is all shiny and proper, but essential to pour in a bucket load of affectionately offensive comedy- I hear its good for dinner too.

The show starts at 8ish, drinks are limited to wine, beer, vodka and soft drinks, but prices are fair and some food is provided- chicken wraps and Nachos, so no need to try and squeeze in a rushed dinner beforehand.

So if you are looking for something a little different to do of an evening, that doesn't involve boozing in Boat Quay, or remorgaging your house for some average food that you'll eat too quickly I strongly recommend the Comedy Club- and at $25 a ticket, you are safe in the knowledge that "even if its not funny- it will probably be funny"

See below for a Clip of Allyson Smith, the Canadian comedian who managed to make me SPRAY lime juice all over Brad's leg and the head of the man in front. Now that is some positive audience feedback.

Laugh Lots

XXX

BOWLING

What to do on a very rainy Saturday afternoon.... well go bowling of course!

What? you can't go bowling and not

Yeah so we live in Asia but TRUST me, we still get horrid rainy Saturdays, which are good for nothing bar some form of indoor activity that involves either cheesy viewing, cheesy activities or cheesy eating, if I had my way we'd have had all three, but at Brad's refusal to watch legally blonde and eat babybelles, we settled on Bowling.

The original plan was actually to go to 'pitch and put' golf on Saturday where I could get myself a semi legitimate golfers tan to parade round the office on Monday and Brad could, well, win. The rain soon put a dampener on this plan (oo pardon the pun), and a desperate plea was posted on Facebook, our new age prayers were swiftly answered and off we trotted to Marina square Super Bowl (details at end of post)

I'll be honest with you, bowling is bowling wherever in the world you choose to pursue it. But just to tick off the boxes for any of you doubters, here is what to expect:

• An endless choice of "all you can eat buffet" restaurants in the vicinity. At least one Chinese, one American Diner.
• An arcade
• Grabby toy machines that don't grab anything...ever
• Large groups of teenagers lingering awkwardly, inclusive of one (minimum) acne ridden rogue, a token emo with backpack (contents unknown), miscellaneous others, and the "cool guy" who is clearly leader of the pack, but will predictably peak at school, giggling girls.
• pool tables (always blue?!)
• Awkward teenage afternoon dates, occasionaly supervised
• forced family outings
• The keenos
• The ones who can't programme the screen. 

Slot us into the appropriate category at your leisure...Anyway we had a fittingly fun afternoon, Brad got competitive and I managed to bowl the ball 6 times in a row without actually hitting anything- if he thinks he is ever getting that $250 dollars I was duped into owing him (backed myself a bit too much at the betting stage) he can dream on.

"Brad are these to protect your feet in case you drop the bowling ball"
"No Sian they are to protect the floor, unless they have steel toe caps, your feet would be pretty much f*ucked"

A sucker for statement accessorise

that's going in the gutter

THE DETAILS

As far as bowling alley's go its pretty basic, they have gone for a err,cheap "minimalistic' approach with the decor opting for plastic tables and chairs over the usual fittings...I hoped that the freedom of chair positioning meant you could tactfully place yourself at the end of the lane and just sit waiting your turn (less up and downing involved) this wasn't allowed, and I overlooked the minor detail of how to retrieve my ball.

Snacks:

There arent actually any amenities in the alley, not even a Wimpy burger, but it seemed that you could just bring your own refreshments in, saw a few people with Starbucks, subway and the odd Tiger beer knocking about. I quite liked this, probably much cheaper too. (A woman did walk round offering drinks but I am not 100% sure if she actually worked there!?!)

Location:

6 Raffles Boulevard
No.03-200
Singapore
39594

Website
Visit Website

Telephone
65 6334 1000

Always good to have something in the locker for a rainy day. Happy bowling people.

XXX

Singapore Zoo

"Never work with animals and children" but be prepared to find both, in unruly vigour, when visiting the zoo.

As we live right in the centre of Singapore the concrete jungle can become a little claustraphobic at times, great when you have a weekend trip planned, but if not you have to improvise. You can quickly start to miss the rolling British countryside, fresh air and pointless strolls, it has also dawned on me recently that I have not seen one animal whilst here- not one. There is no real solution to this, as its par for the course, except perhaps watching re runs of 'escape to the country' online, but we all have our limits. So time to think outside the box, where could we go in Singapore thats Green, spacious and smells a bit like manure... Singapore Zoo, obviously. 

The History Bit

Singapore Zoo was opened in 1973, there are approx 315 species of animals 16% of which are considered to be threatened. It attracts 1.6 million visitors each year, at least half of these seemed to choose the same day as us to visit for 2012.

From the beginning, Singapore Zoo followed the modern trend of displaying animals in naturalistic, 'open' exhibits with hidden barriers, moats, and glass between the animals and visitors. It houses the largest captive colony of orangutans in the world (apparently). In 1977, primatologist Dr Francine Neagolived inside a cage with eighteen orangutans for six months to study their behavior and communication, what a nutter.

excited/ apprehensive zoo goers

Like excited children, well, going to a zoo! We hopped in a taxi late morning to cram in a good day of animal viewing, they did after all close at 6. To Brads excitement lunch was available in only zoo themed varieties, I must be honest though they peaked with 'Pizzafari" it then got lazy and they were just throwing in token animal references, a RhinoShake, despite their best efforts, was sadly still just a milkshake.   

Fed and watered we purchased tickets- we went for the Ticket and Tram option which was $25 each not exactly a big stretch but my advice would be don't bother with the Tram as its easily walkable, and means you don't miss anything- even in the heat it wasn't too bad, although the trams were decorated to look like different animals,  I liked this. A lot. 

Once through the gates it was apparent that we had chosen the same day to visit the zoo as the majority of Singapore's school children, it was a little stressful as all several thousand of them insisted on stopping to take pictures of everything (normally my trick) but seriously, trees, fences, signs... EVERYTHING.

Entering the zoo was initially like that chaotic moment on a toll road when there are no lanes, you are just spat into a messy, every man for himself, free for all. some children may have been elbowed, but in my defence I took a few hits too. Brad had made it out front, he was winning all round.

Panic soon subsided as once you are through the funnel you are spat into the expanse of 'Zooness', and the options are endless about which worldly region you want to get lost in first- we went African. 

I must be honest, I was sightly daunted by how touristy the day may be, but it seems that local Singaporeans genuinely seem to enjoy a day at the zoo too which was refreshing. There were lots of families around and everyone in generally seemed in good spirits. The variety of animals and activities from Marine shows to elephant rides was impressive and true to Singapore it was all very clean, tidy and well presented. My favourite part of the day was seeing what animals get up to when, they're just chilling out, being animals.

Here are some snaps I took from the day, there are much better pictures online, but I don't have a steady hand or a long lens so mine are more "real"...

I thought this was a joke...

This was some kind of tusked pig (name clearly forgotten) looks suspiciously like the rat that was washed up in NY. urgh.

thats them on the move.

White Tiger, he was the celeb of the Zoo, his poster was everywhere.

He wouldn't do autographs. Diva. 

I swear this thing was mechanical. definite robotic eye

He got my leg.

This is what too much sun does to your skin

Panic face. I could have sworn there were lizards in the footwell. urrrrrrgh.

just resting a bolder on my head

 chilling with ma' boys

Wants to be one of the boys

Elefumps

spot the monkey

Classic embarrassing Dad

quite a entrance

Loose Cannon

if  you eat your greens...

you'll be this big

you want my picture? find me. 

you're an idiot mate

handbag?

odd sponsorship

unfortunate nasal proportions

more sensible sponsorship

that one off TV

After the gym we decided to go to the Hard Rock cafe for to round off a proper tourist day. Cheap oversized western food was just what we needed after a day on foot in the sun.

I have never actually been to a zoo before, but I had it on good authority that this was 'a good one'. So if you're out of ideas in Singapore, and willing to embrace the crowds, my advice would be take a trip to the zoo.

Speak soon.

XXX