KARAOKE

So we’ve all heard the rumours. Karaoke is BIG in Asia. But don’t be fooled into thinking this is secluded to dodgy side street joints, open mic nights, or rented booths solely frequent by Hong Kong business men. In Asia, Karaoke is EVERYWHERE.

Up to now my only experience of Karaoke had been unfortunate table positioning on the top floor of a Chinese all you can eat Buffet in Scotland where over fed locals would insist on belting out their best Mariah after a few too many Tiger Beers, holding onto those high notes for as long as their tobacco battered lungs could manage. Or when some bright spark at an office party decides to “get the projector screen down” and from God knows where a microphone appears and the quiet guy from IT is outed as the Tom Jones of Generation Y.

I’d heard talk of Karaoke nights flying around the office, and some friends had even gone along and proclaimed what a great night they had. But let me tell you now, nothing can prepare you for the alcohol fuelled, grossly competitive, testosterone ridden, bonding event  that is Karaoke. Let me put this in perspective. Karaoke is taken so seriously here, that a hotel suit is not considered top of the range by the presence of a grand piano or perhaps a Picasso above the loo. No. What you strive for in life is your own Karaoke booth slotted in between the dining and bedroom sections.  (Because no one can nail Katy Perry ‘Firework’ without significant rehearsal.) 

I would like to take this moment to point out that not all karaoke is necessarily as raucous as ours panned out to be, we went straight in at the deepend and gifted out karaoke virginity to a bunch of enthusiastic (pissed) Australians. Brad and I arrived after a 'date night' at Pollen (a post on this to follow) dressed in our best and pretending to be sophisticated for the (faux)French waiter. In the Taxi en route Brad proclaimed "It will be good to go for a bit and to meet everyone, but I probably won't sing".... fast track 3 hours later Brad has hidden one of the microphones so he can get involved in all the songs with minimal mic wars and has half a bottle of Jack Daniels long armed down his front- which I think happened during an 80's rock solo..or a Whitney Houston number. 

this picture doesn't do the swelling justice

Despite the stained clothes, gravely voices, and my bruise from Tambourining too aggressively I would say the night was a resoundingg success, and definitely something we will be doing again. Screw British reserve and socialising around a table with a game of 5s suggested when you want to liven things up. There is nothing that will unite a room of strangers more than a private room, free flow of alcohol, every cheesy classic and modern hit you can name, 6 microphones and a box of percussion instruments. Granted. Karaoke was NEVER something I considered, nor was really aware of in the UK, but my advice- next time you have a birthday/friends visiting/ just want an excuse to get everyone together and can't be bothered with the same bars and the same faces, get down to a karaoke club immediately, even if you think you're too cool. You're not. 

The logistics 

Not only was the night great fun, but also great value for a boozy session, especially in singapore. We (about 10 of us) rented a room for 3-4 hours, bought approx 6 bottles of spirits, all the mixers came free and the song list was limit less...this came to a total of about $100 dollars each for the entire night (50 quid) unbelievable. We didn't even get fined for breaking everything.

Best Karaoke in Singapore

	PARTY WORLD KTV
		Sound systems: Sound systems are at good quality with Sony devices. Songs: Songs are updated monthly in around 10 languages. Recommended for friends, families and companies. View more info & photos
	TOPONE KTV
		Songs: Latest Songs from around the world, ranging from the latest Mandarin songs, to Canto Pop and latest feverish R&B Hip Hop / K & J POP dance tunes. Hokkien, Thai and Vietnamese songs are also available. Recommended for friends and family gatherings, birthday parties, bachelor and hens nights, corporate functions. View more info & photos
	DYNASTY CLASSIC KTV
		Live performances: Live performances by 16 Chinese Superstar Singers are available in the main hall from Monday to Friday from 9pm to 3am. Soundproof rooms: There are 38 soundproof rooms to relax and enjoy private moments. Recommended for group of friends, family. View more info & photos
	TEA LOVER KTV
		Gathering session: through karaoke gathering session, patrons get the chance to know new friends in Singapore. Ambience: nice and warm, inspire patrons to sing from their hearts. Recommended for friends and family. View more info & photos
	TEO HENG KTV STUDIO
		Price: The price is cheap. It is charged per hour, irregardless of the number of people. Outside food allowed: Patrons can bring their home or outside food in. Sound systems: Best karaoke equipments from BMB. Recommended for family and friends. View more info & photos

courtesy of thebestinsingapore.com

We are off back to the UK this week for a wedding and to visit family and friends, we CANNOT WAIT. I will let you know if I successfully manage to impose a karaoke night on anyone during this time. I'm hoping to god Brad doesn't find a rogue microphone at the wedding...I think i will pre warn the DJ.

Speak Soon.

XXX

The Comedy Club Asia

Comedy in the UK is, in my opinion, essential. Whether self depreciating, dirty or dry- a good dose of humour gets most of us through the day- maybe it's got something to do with the weather/economy/price of cabbage... but in Singapore (and this could just be something lost in translation) comedy you must go in search of.

So when Edinburgh is awash with performers, and everywhere from grand halls to toilet cubicles becomes a 'venue' and you don't have 'Live at the Appolo' at the touch of a button, you must take matters into your own hands. After a little googlnig we found this diamond in the rough.  The 'The Comedy Club Asia' hosts several events a month with 3 touring comedians from around the world, yeah so it's a bit hit or miss but isn't all stand up comedy? We however struck gold and had the pleasure of being entertained by this motley crew...

The venue changes with each line up which is quite a novel way of discovering new little haunts around Singapore. We were very lucky to be in the swish Klapsons Hotel a beautifully modern boutique hotel in the CBD, which popped up a stage in what I presume was a conference room but with a scattering of Sofas, free seating and standing tables successfully created and intimate and relaxed atmosphere- rare in Singapore which is all shiny and proper, but essential to pour in a bucket load of affectionately offensive comedy- I hear its good for dinner too.

The show starts at 8ish, drinks are limited to wine, beer, vodka and soft drinks, but prices are fair and some food is provided- chicken wraps and Nachos, so no need to try and squeeze in a rushed dinner beforehand.

So if you are looking for something a little different to do of an evening, that doesn't involve boozing in Boat Quay, or remorgaging your house for some average food that you'll eat too quickly I strongly recommend the Comedy Club- and at $25 a ticket, you are safe in the knowledge that "even if its not funny- it will probably be funny"

See below for a Clip of Allyson Smith, the Canadian comedian who managed to make me SPRAY lime juice all over Brad's leg and the head of the man in front. Now that is some positive audience feedback.

Laugh Lots

XXX

'The London Singapore Swing'

A friend of mine back in London alerted me to this slightly contoversial article featured in the London Evening Standard (free daily paper for you non Londoners). It addresses the aparent reasoning behind the growing migration of Brits to Signapore seeking amongst other things a healthier economic climate. I gather that the author, Simon English, has never actually lived in Singapore himself, from his use of wikipedia, and I imagine google, as a source of information, and a few thinly stretched quotes, from some handpicked stereotype bankers. English also manages to omit every other profession when weighing up his 'pros and cons of living in Singapore' foolish really when the likes of Oil and Gas and Shipping are such booming industries, and the career choice for a large proportion of Expats too. I would also urge readers of English's article that there is a 'bigger picture' to life in Asia, whilst the 'four floors or whores' may be where his chosen sources prefer to frequent, there is a large population of Expats who can see beyond the Countries boundries and look to embrace the travel potential in South East Asia, the alternate pace and of life, and (thank the lord for the Tax system here, which he lightly brushes over) the opportunity to save. Despite these areas of negligence, I thought I would share the article with you as it serves, if anything, as a (somewhat naive) insight into Singapore 'from the outside'. 

 Article by Simon english, London Evening Standard 20th August 2012

When the financial crisis really began to bite in 2008, bankers in search of career progression or, indeed, anything but career reversal realised that traditional hubs such as New York or London were no longer the only places to be.

“It’s Dubai, Mumbai, Shanghai or goodbye,” went the joke in banker circles. Move or quit — being here is miserable, they decided.

With the banking system embroiled in fresh, some would say even more serious, fiascos, a new escape route is lately presenting itself: Singapore.

Already the fourth biggest financial centre — and the second biggest casino centre, perhaps not coincidentally — Singapore boasts the highest percentage of millionaires in the world.

London bankers and traders are now being asked with increasing regularity if they want a chance to have a crack at joining them.

“Are we going in droves?” asks one stockbroker. “Well, the corporate mergers and acquisitions deal makers are certainly out there— so far this year some £33 billion of business has been concluded in South-East Asia. If you’re an M&A man, you have to be conducting your business there. There’s just no point scrabbling around in London for deals as it’s small fry stuff and everyone in Europe is sitting on their hands. In the West, our economies are burdened with debt but in Asia the cash is there and the money-making opportunities are just huge.”

It’s not just the chance to cash in that is appealing, it’s the chance to escape the mire around the Square Mile.

Singapore is where the growth is, and where the optimism is heading.

So this mini exodus is only likely to grow as the squeeze on the City gets tighter, as calls rise for regulatory reform and clampdowns on pay.

Adds the same broker: “You would think any banker worth his salt would have stuck two fingers up to George Osborne with his 50 per cent tax and his refusal to bat for us in Europe and headed out East by now, wouldn’t you? Singapore charges a top rate tax of 20 per cent. Why would you hang around in London?”

In preparation for the Singapore boom, Standard Chartered — presently in the news for one or two minor US difficulties — built the largest trading floor in Asia last year. Tower 1 at the Marina Bay Financial Centre covers 513,000 sq ft over 24 floors of gleaming screens that house 4,000 wheeler-dealers.

“A vibrant and extraordinarily successful city,” says Standard Chartered chief executive Peter Sands. “Strategically placed at the heart of this new economic super-cycle.”

What’s Singapore like as a place to live? The consensus seems to be that it’s safe, rather heavy on police presence and low on ironic banter. No one talks back to the boss. No one talks back to anyone, in fact.

The night life? A trader from the grubbier end of the stock market who spent two years there a while ago turns misty eyed. “My abiding memory of Singapore is a knocking shop that I was taken to by my brokers called the ‘Four Floors of Whores’. It will live with me for a very long time,” he says, drifting off.

This fantastically dubbed place is actually situated in a retail and entertainment complex, which is raided by police on a regular basis in a bid for a respectability that seems to remain out of reach.

It houses a range of bars full of alluring women more than happy to be bought a drink. But be careful, hot shot: other price tags shall also apply.

It is evidently a popular destination, though you should avoid floor three unless lady-boys are of interest.

The Four Floors seems indicative of a slightly wider phenomenon. Because Singapore society is so controlled, there is a reaction to this behind closed doors. Some go absolutely nuts, by several accounts. The phrase “extreme sexual deviancy” crops up more than once, but it seems to be the sort of thing that everyone knows about but only discusses after they have left the country.

Singapore’s clear ambition is to usurp Hong Kong as Asia’s leading financial centre, and for it the scandals in New York and London are nothing but good news.

Singaporean authorities are said to be delighted at the public fist fight between the two top finance centres, thinking they can only benefit from the fallout.

But it seems the real power players don’t want to base themselves there, no matter what.

Says the grubby trader: “Singapore is a dull place to be, the Four Floors aside. The local culture is insular and the way they treat women is a disgrace. Top bankers are cosmopolitan and urbane, there’s just no way they would base themselves at such a bland island. Sure they’ll jet in, do the deals and get the advisory fees, but it will be transacted in London or New York wherever possible with the absolute bare-minimum of face time in Singapore.”

So the boss leaves his 25- to 35-year-olds living in company apartments to do the leg work. Then he gets out of town to see his children, who are getting the best education money can buy at Knightsbridge in London or Battery Park in New York.

Singapore is a democracy, sort of, where the People’s Action Party has won every election since 1959 and favours, says Wikipedia, “collective welfare over individual rights such as freedom of speech”.

One young banker out there and enjoying it says the social life is “fun but controlled. That basically sums up Singapore for me — it’s a little too controlled.

“You can have a good night out but it stings the wallet big time and the head the next day. I think it’s the combination of being in air-conditioning all day and then boozing alfresco in the heat. This results in massive dehydration and the ultimate hangover. I do miss a good old English boozer.”

Foodie bankers say that back in the 1990s everyone would bang on about how great the food and restaurants were in Singapore. London has more than caught up since. The Fat Duck is better than the Peking Duck in Marina Square, says my restaurant guide.

One thing Singapore seems to be missing — this could be good or bad, depending on your point of view — is any sense of guilt over the financial crisis.

According to a City banker, one Singaporean who moved here to work complained that he felt “victimised” in London. If anyone was to blame, it was the regulators, he felt — he personally was merely doing what he was supposed to do: get rich as quickly as he could. He moved back, sharpish.

What’s the best age to be there? The answer seems to be between 28 and 40. At the young end of that range, you head over to Hong Kong when you want fun; later on, those with children have cheap live-in helpers in fabulous condos that come with pools and gym facilities. It is convenient and slick, geared towards making getting to the office and staying there easy.

Says another banker: “Singapore’s a great place to be at the start of your career and you can’t believe your luck when you land the first-class, one-way ticket out there, but you soon grow up and you find yourself in economy longing for the Square Mile, its bars, its vibrancy, its class and the characters on the trading floor.

“Would I go again? Forget it. Would I go to Tokyo? You betcha …”

So should you take that Singapore job offer? Why not. It’ll be fun for a couple of years. Just don’t get stuck there. London will always be where it is all really going on.

The first rogue trader in the islands

British bankers off to Singapore are following in the steps of a pioneer. Nick Leeson was losing fortunes for banks before it became fashionable.

As the star trader at Barings Bank’s Singapore arm — until his gambling led to losses of £800 million and the ruin of a British institution — Leeson warmed to everything it has to offer. Then he ended up in a brutal jail.

“I thought it was a wonderful place to live,” he tells the Standard. “I’m sure it has only got better. I’ve seen two sides to it, though. There’s the nice ex-pat living and then there’s the more authoritarian side.”

He adds: “Everyone has an ID card. If you get caught at the age of 12 smoking marijuana, that goes on your card. The system is successful, but the prison population is very young; everyone was a drug offender. There is a focus on punishment rather than rehabilitation.”

The upside?

“There are a lot of good-looking women. It is warm. There are a lot of different cultures. It is a competitive environment to bring up kids though. The focus on being successful is intense.”

Make of that what you will...

Speak Soon

XXX

BOWLING

What to do on a very rainy Saturday afternoon.... well go bowling of course!

What? you can't go bowling and not

Yeah so we live in Asia but TRUST me, we still get horrid rainy Saturdays, which are good for nothing bar some form of indoor activity that involves either cheesy viewing, cheesy activities or cheesy eating, if I had my way we'd have had all three, but at Brad's refusal to watch legally blonde and eat babybelles, we settled on Bowling.

The original plan was actually to go to 'pitch and put' golf on Saturday where I could get myself a semi legitimate golfers tan to parade round the office on Monday and Brad could, well, win. The rain soon put a dampener on this plan (oo pardon the pun), and a desperate plea was posted on Facebook, our new age prayers were swiftly answered and off we trotted to Marina square Super Bowl (details at end of post)

I'll be honest with you, bowling is bowling wherever in the world you choose to pursue it. But just to tick off the boxes for any of you doubters, here is what to expect:

• An endless choice of "all you can eat buffet" restaurants in the vicinity. At least one Chinese, one American Diner.
• An arcade
• Grabby toy machines that don't grab anything...ever
• Large groups of teenagers lingering awkwardly, inclusive of one (minimum) acne ridden rogue, a token emo with backpack (contents unknown), miscellaneous others, and the "cool guy" who is clearly leader of the pack, but will predictably peak at school, giggling girls.
• pool tables (always blue?!)
• Awkward teenage afternoon dates, occasionaly supervised
• forced family outings
• The keenos
• The ones who can't programme the screen. 

Slot us into the appropriate category at your leisure...Anyway we had a fittingly fun afternoon, Brad got competitive and I managed to bowl the ball 6 times in a row without actually hitting anything- if he thinks he is ever getting that $250 dollars I was duped into owing him (backed myself a bit too much at the betting stage) he can dream on.

"Brad are these to protect your feet in case you drop the bowling ball"
"No Sian they are to protect the floor, unless they have steel toe caps, your feet would be pretty much f*ucked"

A sucker for statement accessorise

that's going in the gutter

THE DETAILS

As far as bowling alley's go its pretty basic, they have gone for a err,cheap "minimalistic' approach with the decor opting for plastic tables and chairs over the usual fittings...I hoped that the freedom of chair positioning meant you could tactfully place yourself at the end of the lane and just sit waiting your turn (less up and downing involved) this wasn't allowed, and I overlooked the minor detail of how to retrieve my ball.

Snacks:

There arent actually any amenities in the alley, not even a Wimpy burger, but it seemed that you could just bring your own refreshments in, saw a few people with Starbucks, subway and the odd Tiger beer knocking about. I quite liked this, probably much cheaper too. (A woman did walk round offering drinks but I am not 100% sure if she actually worked there!?!)

Location:

6 Raffles Boulevard
No.03-200
Singapore
39594

Website
Visit Website

Telephone
65 6334 1000

Always good to have something in the locker for a rainy day. Happy bowling people.

XXX

LONDON OLYMPICS 2012

Generalising Singaporean coverage of the Olympics would be difficult. In an age dominated by social media and online news, the coverage, results and opinions you are exposed to, digest and then presumably regurgitated loudly across the pub on a Friday night, are essentially the ones which you choose to surround yourself with.

Picture courtesy of the DailyMail

When you go online to check the news, it will be the homepage of your favourite broadsheet or news channel that I imagine you  visit by default. For me, being British it's unsurprisingly the BBC. So if you were to ask me "what my exposure to the Olympic being in Singapore" has been like, the honest answer would be "pretty much the same as at home". I admit, we channel hop to follow the British athletes, however surely I am only being as biased as anyone else would be in supporting their home nation, regardless of their viewing location.

Hungeree.com

With the local television and chatter in the office it I have maintained an awareness of how Singapore is doing (recently relatively well in the Table Tennis) however, this is the truth. Being an expat does not necessarily install a new sense of adopted national pride within you, and as much as I love Singapore, my channel surfing is not dictated by the movements of their team. 

The fact is that being removed from your home country reignites a deep burning sense of patriotism. Despite the moaning about the potential disfunction the olympics would bring to London the messages coming from within supported by the proud, positive coverage by the national news is heart warming. Similar vibes of national pride transcended around the Jubilee, but messages and the memories  were of a different nature. Celebrating the success of our country in hosting such a prestigious event (despite some initial set backs) exposes elements of British culture that do not usually get enough airtime. The architecture and landscape of London and the surrounding areas, that encapsulates the athletes in  history and nature as they push themselves to new extremes alongside highly skilled rivals from around the world, the skill, successes and professionalism of so many athletes hailing from what is in comparison to the rest of the world, such a tiny country, and the coming together of British people to celebrate, support and congratulate in good spirits, come rain or shine without the need for riots, violence and alcoholism. These factors combined, integrated with many others, make for a place that we are openly routing for and proud to call home.

so once more, just for the record. COME ON TEAM GB!

Oh how did this picture slip in?

Some Facebook Statuses from this weekend that sum up the general feeling in London on Saturday 4th Aug 2012, they may get lost on our news feeds, the congestion may be a pain when going to work, but remember this is how you all felt when it mattered...

Soggy and wet but still excited for the marathon!!!

Just saw Usain Bolt race 100 meters... Win!!! My life is complete!!

Come on GBR

Bloody love being British. What a day. Why would Scotland ever want to leave this?

The streets of London are literally Paved with gold.

Raining Gold

Loving watching the Equestrian section, go team GB!

Beyond excited for the Murray match today!!!!!!

Olympics woooooo shaking with excitement

Looking forward to the athletics tonight... Bring on the 100m final Bolt!! @TeamGB

I want an Ennis 6pk, any tips?

JESSICA ENNIS. Amazing. So proud to be British!!!!!

Absolutely amazing day to be British!

Made it to the Olympic's, flag donned as a cape. Now where's the face paint?!! Come on Team GB!!

These olympics have inspired me to end my lazy ways and take up a new sport

London 2012. I will never forget. @TeamGB

Even street artists have been bitten by the olympics bug. See some of the incredible work below

(pictures SingaporeStomp)

May we maintain this astonishing momentum 

XXX