Showing posts with label singapore living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label singapore living. Show all posts

Saturday, 3 November 2012

The little things in life

Every so often Singapore throws some little funnies at us- here are some examples I felt compelled to snap.


'Horney Goat Weed' Not just a ridiculous name, but also a supplement for low libido...and sold in most Newsagents. mental. 

Subtle Accessories. Rubber duck earrings, so OTM

I don't think people in the UK believed me when i said this was a common sight
Is this man watering the (questionable) plants?

No, he's polishing the pavement. Obviously.

The influence of Asia

I'm sorry, but this is just cruel

Marks and Spencer's clinging onto the wintery dream

Dinner tonight

I'm SO CONFUSED its 32 degrees outside, aarrrrggghhh
How did I deal with these confusing seasonal messages? I bought a dressing gown and some winter Vegetable soup so I can at least go home and pretend.

More substantial post en route, but for now i'm off to see Skyfall, sadly not in my dressing gown.
XXX

Sunday, 26 August 2012

The Comedy Club Asia



Comedy in the UK is, in my opinion, essential. Whether self depreciating, dirty or dry- a good dose of humour gets most of us through the day- maybe it's got something to do with the weather/economy/price of cabbage... but in Singapore (and this could just be something lost in translation) comedy you must go in search of.

So when Edinburgh is awash with performers, and everywhere from grand halls to toilet cubicles becomes a 'venue' and you don't have 'Live at the Appolo' at the touch of a button, you must take matters into your own hands. After a little googlnig we found this diamond in the rough.  The 'The Comedy Club Asia' hosts several events a month with 3 touring comedians from around the world, yeah so it's a bit hit or miss but isn't all stand up comedy? We however struck gold and had the pleasure of being entertained by this motley crew...





The venue changes with each line up which is quite a novel way of discovering new little haunts around Singapore. We were very lucky to be in the swish Klapsons Hotel a beautifully modern boutique hotel in the CBD, which popped up a stage in what I presume was a conference room but with a scattering of Sofas, free seating and standing tables successfully created and intimate and relaxed atmosphere- rare in Singapore which is all shiny and proper, but essential to pour in a bucket load of affectionately offensive comedy- I hear its good for dinner too.

The show starts at 8ish, drinks are limited to wine, beer, vodka and soft drinks, but prices are fair and some food is provided- chicken wraps and Nachos, so no need to try and squeeze in a rushed dinner beforehand.




So if you are looking for something a little different to do of an evening, that doesn't involve boozing in Boat Quay, or remorgaging your house for some average food that you'll eat too quickly I strongly recommend the Comedy Club- and at $25 a ticket, you are safe in the knowledge that "even if its not funny- it will probably be funny"

See below for a Clip of Allyson Smith, the Canadian comedian who managed to make me SPRAY lime juice all over Brad's leg and the head of the man in front. Now that is some positive audience feedback.

Laugh Lots
XXX

Monday, 20 August 2012

'The London Singapore Swing'

A friend of mine back in London alerted me to this slightly contoversial article featured in the London Evening Standard (free daily paper for you non Londoners). It addresses the aparent reasoning behind the growing migration of Brits to Signapore seeking amongst other things a healthier economic climate. I gather that the author, Simon English, has never actually lived in Singapore himself, from his use of wikipedia, and I imagine google, as a source of information, and a few thinly stretched quotes, from some handpicked stereotype bankers. English also manages to omit every other profession when weighing up his 'pros and cons of living in Singapore' foolish really when the likes of Oil and Gas and Shipping are such booming industries, and the career choice for a large proportion of Expats too. I would also urge readers of English's article that there is a 'bigger picture' to life in Asia, whilst the 'four floors or whores' may be where his chosen sources prefer to frequent, there is a large population of Expats who can see beyond the Countries boundries and look to embrace the travel potential in South East Asia, the alternate pace and of life, and (thank the lord for the Tax system here, which he lightly brushes over) the opportunity to save. Despite these areas of negligence, I thought I would share the article with you as it serves, if anything, as a (somewhat naive) insight into Singapore 'from the outside'. 


 Article by Simon english, London Evening Standard 20th August 2012


When the financial crisis really began to bite in 2008, bankers in search of career progression or, indeed, anything but career reversal realised that traditional hubs such as New York or London were no longer the only places to be.
“It’s Dubai, Mumbai, Shanghai or goodbye,” went the joke in banker circles. Move or quit — being here is miserable, they decided.
With the banking system embroiled in fresh, some would say even more serious, fiascos, a new escape route is lately presenting itself: Singapore.
Already the fourth biggest financial centre — and the second biggest casino centre, perhaps not coincidentally — Singapore boasts the highest percentage of millionaires in the world.
London bankers and traders are now being asked with increasing regularity if they want a chance to have a crack at joining them.

“Are we going in droves?” asks one stockbroker. “Well, the corporate mergers and acquisitions deal makers are certainly out there— so far this year some £33 billion of business has been concluded in South-East Asia. If you’re an M&A man, you have to be conducting your business there. There’s just no point scrabbling around in London for deals as it’s small fry stuff and everyone in Europe is sitting on their hands. In the West, our economies are burdened with debt but in Asia the cash is there and the money-making opportunities are just huge.”
It’s not just the chance to cash in that is appealing, it’s the chance to escape the mire around the Square Mile.
Singapore is where the growth is, and where the optimism is heading.
So this mini exodus is only likely to grow as the squeeze on the City gets tighter, as calls rise for regulatory reform and clampdowns on pay.
Adds the same broker: “You would think any banker worth his salt would have stuck two fingers up to George Osborne with his 50 per cent tax and his refusal to bat for us in Europe and headed out East by now, wouldn’t you? Singapore charges a top rate tax of 20 per cent. Why would you hang around in London?”

In preparation for the Singapore boom, Standard Chartered — presently in the news for one or two minor US difficulties — built the largest trading floor in Asia last year. Tower 1 at the Marina Bay Financial Centre covers 513,000 sq ft over 24 floors of gleaming screens that house 4,000 wheeler-dealers.
“A vibrant and extraordinarily successful city,” says Standard Chartered chief executive Peter Sands. “Strategically placed at the heart of this new economic super-cycle.”

What’s Singapore like as a place to live? The consensus seems to be that it’s safe, rather heavy on police presence and low on ironic banter. No one talks back to the boss. No one talks back to anyone, in fact.
The night life? A trader from the grubbier end of the stock market who spent two years there a while ago turns misty eyed. “My abiding memory of Singapore is a knocking shop that I was taken to by my brokers called the ‘Four Floors of Whores’. It will live with me for a very long time,” he says, drifting off.
This fantastically dubbed place is actually situated in a retail and entertainment complex, which is raided by police on a regular basis in a bid for a respectability that seems to remain out of reach.
It houses a range of bars full of alluring women more than happy to be bought a drink. But be careful, hot shot: other price tags shall also apply.

It is evidently a popular destination, though you should avoid floor three unless lady-boys are of interest.
The Four Floors seems indicative of a slightly wider phenomenon. Because Singapore society is so controlled, there is a reaction to this behind closed doors. Some go absolutely nuts, by several accounts. The phrase “extreme sexual deviancy” crops up more than once, but it seems to be the sort of thing that everyone knows about but only discusses after they have left the country.
Singapore’s clear ambition is to usurp Hong Kong as Asia’s leading financial centre, and for it the scandals in New York and London are nothing but good news.
Singaporean authorities are said to be delighted at the public fist fight between the two top finance centres, thinking they can only benefit from the fallout.
But it seems the real power players don’t want to base themselves there, no matter what.
Says the grubby trader: “Singapore is a dull place to be, the Four Floors aside. The local culture is insular and the way they treat women is a disgrace. Top bankers are cosmopolitan and urbane, there’s just no way they would base themselves at such a bland island. Sure they’ll jet in, do the deals and get the advisory fees, but it will be transacted in London or New York wherever possible with the absolute bare-minimum of face time in Singapore.”

So the boss leaves his 25- to 35-year-olds living in company apartments to do the leg work. Then he gets out of town to see his children, who are getting the best education money can buy at Knightsbridge in London or Battery Park in New York.
Singapore is a democracy, sort of, where the People’s Action Party has won every election since 1959 and favours, says Wikipedia, “collective welfare over individual rights such as freedom of speech”.
One young banker out there and enjoying it says the social life is “fun but controlled. That basically sums up Singapore for me — it’s a little too controlled.
“You can have a good night out but it stings the wallet big time and the head the next day. I think it’s the combination of being in air-conditioning all day and then boozing alfresco in the heat. This results in massive dehydration and the ultimate hangover. I do miss a good old English boozer.”
Foodie bankers say that back in the 1990s everyone would bang on about how great the food and restaurants were in Singapore. London has more than caught up since. The Fat Duck is better than the Peking Duck in Marina Square, says my restaurant guide.
One thing Singapore seems to be missing — this could be good or bad, depending on your point of view — is any sense of guilt over the financial crisis.

According to a City banker, one Singaporean who moved here to work complained that he felt “victimised” in London. If anyone was to blame, it was the regulators, he felt — he personally was merely doing what he was supposed to do: get rich as quickly as he could. He moved back, sharpish.
What’s the best age to be there? The answer seems to be between 28 and 40. At the young end of that range, you head over to Hong Kong when you want fun; later on, those with children have cheap live-in helpers in fabulous condos that come with pools and gym facilities. It is convenient and slick, geared towards making getting to the office and staying there easy.
Says another banker: “Singapore’s a great place to be at the start of your career and you can’t believe your luck when you land the first-class, one-way ticket out there, but you soon grow up and you find yourself in economy longing for the Square Mile, its bars, its vibrancy, its class and the characters on the trading floor.
“Would I go again? Forget it. Would I go to Tokyo? You betcha …”
So should you take that Singapore job offer? Why not. It’ll be fun for a couple of years. Just don’t get stuck there. London will always be where it is all really going on.

The first rogue trader in the islands
British bankers off to Singapore are following in the steps of a pioneer. Nick Leeson was losing fortunes for banks before it became fashionable.
As the star trader at Barings Bank’s Singapore arm — until his gambling led to losses of £800 million and the ruin of a British institution — Leeson warmed to everything it has to offer. Then he ended up in a brutal jail.
“I thought it was a wonderful place to live,” he tells the Standard. “I’m sure it has only got better. I’ve seen two sides to it, though. There’s the nice ex-pat living and then there’s the more authoritarian side.”
He adds: “Everyone has an ID card. If you get caught at the age of 12 smoking marijuana, that goes on your card. The system is successful, but the prison population is very young; everyone was a drug offender. There is a focus on punishment rather than rehabilitation.”
The upside?
“There are a lot of good-looking women. It is warm. There are a lot of different cultures. It is a competitive environment to bring up kids though. The focus on being successful is intense.”


Make of that what you will...
Speak Soon
XXX

Friday, 10 August 2012

LETS HAVE SEX


Singapore wants YOU to have a baby, and Mentos have made the soundtrack...


Thursday was National Day in Singapore, an occasion to celebrate Singapore's seperation from Malaysia in 1965. On the day there is a huge parade, fly over, fireworks and street parties which are rehearsed and meticulously planned for for months, but this year the evening activities were set to be a little more 'X rated'. A little over a week ago, Mentos (the mints) released a commercial promoting “National Night” a to the point ad campaign encouraging Singaporeans to make babiiiiiesss. Never in my life, ever did I think I would see an 'Anti' contraception, nationwide campaign. 
So why all the Sexing?

Singapore’s birth rate is at an all time low. Female citizens of the country now pop out on average 1 child in their lifetime. According to a video the government released, they need to produce about 50,000 children per year (not each) to maintain its population and avoid the economic calamity associated with an ageing population. The current birth rate is less than 30,000 children per year. So what to do about this- encouraging a one night sexathon probably isn't the answer, some of the promos read slightly like they are suggesting an orgy, others that you should only have sex on this one night (counterproductive if you ask me)- but it certainly makes for amusing following. *
 “I’m a patriotic husband, you my patriotic wife, lemme book into ya camp and manufacture a life.”
See the AMAZING video below released by Mentos
*Warning: Catchy*



As the Financial Times has reported, in Singapore 44 percent of men and 30 percent of women between the ages of 30 and 34 are single and many young people are actually putting off childbirth in favour of increased education (take a leaf UK). Singapore has already implemented an attractive array of incentives to have kids too. In 2001, the government introduced a Baby Bonus where Mothers receive $4000 for each of the first two kids and $6000 for each of the next 2 (Twins and triplets, in case you were wondering, are considered separate births.) Maternity leave is about to be upped as well.

It has never actually been proven that an advertising campaign can prompt a baby boom, it is more on the back of economic prosperity and cultural trends, but you never know, I'll get back to you in 9 months with the strike rate in my office.

More astonishingly is that this campaign has been openly allowed by the government of a nation that banned a Janet Jackson album in 2001 for being "too sexy'...yes Janet Jackson.... mind boggling 





If the song gets stuck in your head, try not to sing it subconsciously in public
Make love not war.
XXX

* Stats from www.slate.com

Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Expat Exposé

...and no, i do not want a store card.

Ever considered it? Ever had a niggling urge to up sticks move over seas and live in the sunshine paying less (or no) tax? I didn't. Well thats not strictly true, there were a couple of rainy afternoons when I most definitely would have dropped everything to be lying by a pool, Bellini in hand, trashy book on lap and sun beaming down, but thats not strictly "expat living" more Beverley Hills 90210...

The reality is it was never something that was actually a reality. Yeah overseas relocation is something people idly chat about, a pipe dream, a time passing topic of conversation, but how many people actually ever really consider it (when not a reaction to a messy divorce, a fugitive on the run or lottery winner)?

From my investigations, not many. It seems that people only really bite the bullet when the offer is laid out in front of them, usually as a career opportunity, a temporary posting or a partner is going for work (obviously there are some exceptions) in our case it was the first. Yes on rainy days we discussed how great it would be to never have to wear a coat again (yet ironically we have moved to a country where it rains every day, hot rain though hot rain) but it was only really when a career opportunity for Brad that we would struggle to rival popped up, and I also got offered a job, that pillow talk became a reality.

So whats it really like to be an Expat?

Ok so we aren't veterans yet, but Hopefully I can give you an insight. A lot of people asked me before I left how I decided as they were in similar predicaments, my advice was just do it. If its for a few years, chances are your friends will all be in the same town when you get back, in mildly transitional yet somehow the same social groups and drinking in the same pubs, just with different stories to tell. And us? we will have an entire life experience, we will be able to look back on these years as "that time we lived in Asia" and in a few years time when I'm back in the white horse with a glass (bottle) of Pinot Grigio discussing with the girls where to get the best Salmon Nigiri, it will be from a totally different, or as my mother would say "worldly", point of view. So my advice, if you get the opportunity, grab it with both hands, worst that can happen? You come home, Even worse...living a life of what if...

Reality Check


It may seem like I have a tendency to glamorise things with our seemingly lavish life of boat trips and fine dining, but to be honest, life as an expat on a day to day basis is pretty much the same as back in Blighty, only more humid. Here are some snapshots of our more normal life.





We still get over sunday blues by heading to the pub to consume hearty comfort food, its not all noodles, steamed fish and pack choy. oh no. There is a cracking English pub under our building (dangerous) where we indulged in Sunday Bloody Marys,  a roast duck and mozzarella pizza, potaoe wedges with chilli sauce and breaded fish with Tartar sauce...some things never get old.



Home cooking remains pretty standard. As tempting as it is to go down to the cheap as chips hawker market or one of the many glitzy restaurants every night, most nights when your tiered from work you just want a bog standard, minimal effort meal in front of the TV. Recent selections included Chicken Curry and Beef Stir fry (ok quite Asian, but my repertoire is rather limited)


Although some thing remain the same i just had to share this bad boy with you, this is an Asian version of a kinder egg. It it basically nutella with 2 little ferrero rocher things bobbing about inside and a spoon, toy is in the other half of the egg. Absolute genius. I'm bringing this find back to british Shores.

So there you have it peeps, Expat life, although it has its perks, on a daily basis is pretty much the same, so despite relocating your life, starting a new job and making new friends... its no biggy I shall leave you with a list of the daily odds and ends that niggle us, in all time zones!

1. Mondays always come too soon
2. People walking slowly and stopping in the street without warning always deserve a punch in the back of the head.
3. Taxi drivers have pretty rubbish chat, everywhere, nor can they take hints
4. Tuesdays will always be the longest day of your life.
5. Daily Mail.com still works (however is not updated as often as my daytime in uk night time, argh)
6. Men love to stare, yes  we can see you, even behind your sunglasses they do not make you invisible.
7. The gym can always wait till tomorrow
8. Making lists of lists does not get things done.
9. Just because H&M is cheap does not mean you should buy everything, and not try it on.
10. HANGOVERS.

On that note expats and non expats around the world i'm off to (a needs to be changed but can't be bothered stripping it) bed.

Happy Day Time
XXX