* Based of an article in Singaporean FHM Aug 2012*
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| "unsuitable for the young" |
10. Actually being courteous
And this is not even going as far as expecting you to write a "Thank you note" to the host of last nights party. We are a nation, terrible at holding the door open for people behind us, and thanking them when they do. We don't even have the graciousness to move "further own the train carriage" to make way for other- because it's just not convenient. When driving, no we will not give way.
9. Speaking Foreign Languages
"What ist das way to el beacheo huh?" compronday? WeiWei? As every Singaporean holiday maker knows, yelling mangled phrases in a generic Singlish accent with over zealous hand gestures and a patronising attitude is the best way to communicate overseas
8. Welcoming New Neighbours
Community Spirit in the heartlands mostly consists of something called 'Neighbourhood Watch', this involves suspiciously staring at new neighbours from behind Ikea curtains tutting and huffing, especially is it looks like they may own an animal. We do not follow US style welcomes of bounding over with a fresh batch of cookies. We don't like over friendliness or unexpected visitors.
7. Space Missions
We invented the thumb drive, revolutionised drinking recycled water, ct=reated the MP3 player before the iPod was around and have the best airline in the world, so you'd think we could send a few people into space.There aren't even complicated directions to abide by, you just aim up! If however, there were free Tissues on the moon you could bet we'd be up there in a shot.
6. Pubic Grooming
The Brazilians drew inspiration from an airport runway, welcome the 'Landing Strip' The American's took it a step further whipping it all of, Hello Hollywood, but us? Our national undercarriage is as unruly and entangled as a carrier bag of computer leads. Come on Ladies we're not going to be shocked into submissions (like Turtle from entourage) is we see a "clean plate"
5. Sensible Tanning
Why waste time and effort slathering yourself in SPF when you're only sat by the pool scoffing food, no one get sunburnt in their own condo. That raging, blistering redness spreading across your chest and forehead? Well thats just a healthy summertime glow.
4. Avoiding Cyclists
Maybe its the fact that cars are so expensive in Singapore (you can buy apartments throughout Asia for what you would pay for a car) and that vehicle owners feel such pride and joy in their play things. Therefore any cyclists are a pest encroaching on out territory and you will be a target for abuse.
3. Moderation
How many times have you said "just a quick one"
- skip some tedious text-
No one in history has ever just been for a quick one!
2. Protesting
We're not talking about moaning, Singaporeans are Olympians when it comes to gambling, we're actually talking about protesting bad service and policies. Sure we'd go onto Facebook and "like" the page for a boycott, or join an online forum to make snide remarks, but thats where we draw the line, online protest, faceless and cloudy. when was the last time anyone ever carried a placard? Well that just makes a scene, and no one likes a scene.
1.Dressing Up
Yes we live on an Island, But we're not an Island like Bali or Hawaii. We're a business centre surrounded by a body of water, however we seem to have been affected with Casual-itus compelling people to stroll around in tank tops, ripped shorts and flip flops wherever they go.
(and you will never, EVER, see a suit jacket or a tie!)
Worth Sharing
N.B. I do not make a habit of reading FHM
XXX
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