So. What have we been upto? I think it is probably best to tackle this in a coherent and organised manner I therefore introduce to you..."subheadings" (i'm also alone in the hotel tonight so have time on my hands, actually my preference was to go and watch the Asian Shania Twain live tribute act in the hotel bar, but there's no seats left. Shes a corker i'm not surprised. )
The last thing I wrote of any longevity (appart from some hugely embarrasing drunken texts to Brad when they were probably least appropriate) was my dissertation, I shall follow that template accordingly.
Contents
Adapting
Househunting
Adapting
I think its fair to say we took quite a leap of faith. Neither Brad nor I know much about Singapore atall and are both far to arrogant to proclaim ignorance and ask for help or be seen touting a map, so the first morning we scavanged a map in the hotel, hid it inside a newspaper and walked nonchalantly through the lobby to smuggle our contraband up to the room. We wanted to gage our bearings and get to know the city a bit before starting the househunt. Turns out Singapore has 28 districts. We decided in that moment we would cap it at 4. So hotel breakfust buffet done, Brad cleaned up said it would "see him through to the evening", we set off into the suana, sorry, city.
The first thing you will notice about Singapore is it is mentally clean, it had now been about an hour since I had showered and it was making me feel dirty in comparison! This is due to the fining system here, they literally love a fine. I swear when i am back i will never grumble at a 30 quid (cant find a pound sign on this keyboard) parking ticket again. you get fined for EVERYTHING and the police are ninjas. They will catch you.
Crime is also non existant here (quote wikipedia) and on learning about the frequently used corporal punishment i am not surprised, caning is the main form used. I shan't go into details for fear of being arrested, but google it. not nice.
Anyway accurate crime stats aside, we have been loving it, after a weekend of manic house hunting, cramming 15 flats in in 2 days (more on this later) we spent the rest of the weekend walking about and generall taking in Singapore.
As most expats here will tell you there are some amazing bars/bistros/nightlife spots etc along the river, these are 3 'Quays' which roll into one another, Robertson Quay, good for japanese food apparently, Clark Quay, the boozy bit and Boat Quat, the slightly more touristy bit. The whole stretch is perfect for post work drinks, nights out, hungover brunches etc...
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| T shirt shorts and sunnies. that is all. |
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| Robertson Quay (obviously) |
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| Brunch |
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| taught him how to use a knife and fork |
In addition to finding our feet and favourite haunts, we have also been picking up on the odd cultural difference. Firstly singlish. As lovely as the locals are here it is SO difficult to understand them, i have found my self speaking with a silghtly Asian twang back to them, slower, and louder. Rather like 'Franglais' but less endearing, more boarderline insulting.
The language barrier, currency, MRT underground system and cusine are all things we can adapt to in time. There is however one factor that i am struggling to come to terms with. THEY DO NOT SELL FAKE TAN IN SINGAPORE. ANYWHERE. Infact they are so utterly anti fake tan, they only seem to sell 'whitening lotion' everywhere i go. If i wanted to embrace my inner Scott, I would not have come to Asia to do it. You may think this a trivial woe. You are wrong. Although yes, it is never less then 30 degrees here and i suppose in time i will develop some sort of natual tan, this however is largely hindered by the fact i am in an air conditioned office most of the time.
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| I genuinely thought (hoped) this was for teeth |
Brad was also worried he wouldnt be able to find things such as his normal hair clay, toothpaste and deoderant. Fortunately for him though his favourite is a big hit with the locals...
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| Only Five quid! |
Househunting
When there are 28 districts on the map and your catalogue of geographical knowledge includes only airport, hotel and bars househunting was always going to be a slight challenge. Until we met Dawn.
Christ knows how, but as Brad does he just "got a name from someone" this someone transpired to be an angel. A heineken drinking, BMW driving, body of an 18 year old, estate agent called Dawn. She picked us up outside Brads office on Friday itinerary in hand and for 2 days drove us around Singapore, this was incredibly useful for getting to grips with where everything is, and meant we crammed in loads of viewings. the places we viewed ranged from large condos which rivalled holiday resorts, perhaps not homely but amazing, to luxuary executive appartments to actualy (excuse the profanity) shit holes... at least the diverse range helped us quickly decide what we wanted.
Durig our househunting escapade there was one stand out performance. We entered this rather indiscript block of flats in a fairly nice area, got to the door with Dawn and waited for the selling agent to answer. Eventually the door swung opern and this cascade of noise flooded the hallway, weird because i couldnt see anyone. Then she appeared this 4 foot skinny Singaporian realator who would be just as enthusiastic selling ice to eskimos. The flat itself was pretty crap but she gave us the hard sell. Even Brad, the dictionary definition of a sales man was blown away. to distract from the building sight next door she demonstrated thoroughly how we could draw the curtains and put on the lights to creat "romance feel" for "special nights" to deter me from noticing there was no microwave or dishwasher she drew our eye to the delightful kitchen wallpaper covered in blue stars like "the night sky at daytime"....her skillset continued to amaze. The woman could not be faulted, her enthusiasm was second to none. Shame the flat was a dump, as we left we felt bad, but nevertheless the search must go on.
WRONG this was not the last we saw of her. By the time we got to the carpark she was WAITING BY THE CAR to give us that one final plug. "This is very good flat for very little money, you find nothing else this good in Singapore trust me" (the valuable opinion) "There is a lot of competition, in fact i think another couple will offer tomorrow, you should secure it by the end of today" (fear of loss). This woman literally wrote the textbook. Sad to say we didnt go with that flat, despite her efforts. We are however a bit scared she'll pop up in the hotel at breakfast.
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Flats we viewed tended to vary from good sized slightly run down older buildings to a bit pokey beautiful new builds. Then we discovered the Malaga of Singapore. The expat condos...
Dont get me wrong, some of these are really nice, family friendly hotspots, however we could only think of one word to describe the inmates, sorry, residents of one of these said condos, and that was PUNTERS.
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| LADS |
The facilities themselves werent actually that bad there was a pool, tennis courts etc. However if the ratio of 'Kareoke rooms' to actual useful amenities wasn't bad enough, the extras from TOWIE walking round clenching a can of tiger beer in either fist chanting, actually i'm not sure what, unfortunately pushed us over the edge.
Anyway panic not. After 2 long days of trapsing arounf Singapore WE FOUND A FLAT!! we viewed it on Saturday, Brad went back on Monday and they have now accepted out offer and we have signed the contract planning to move in on this coming Saturday, but i shall wait until we are settled to give you the grand tour. I will however say it is BEAUTIFUL and about a 4 minute walk to work. Friends the spare bedroom is already made up, get booking flight tickets now. In the meantime, here's a teaser, its called One Shenton, its the gold building below...
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| 'Lewington's little Lodge' |
Right, I think that concludes this evenings ramblings, I would tell you all about work (which is great) but i have been in taining for the past few days so I shall wait until there are more exciting events to report, most likely after thursday night drinks.
On a final, final note. I would just like to thank Mummy Owen for getting her lovely friend Shirley to deliver us some Percy Pigs when we met her for a drink on Saturday- nothing like home comforts...
I'm off to try and catch the end of Shania Twain... have a good day UK. (a bit too Ron Burgendy?) Night Night
XXX
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